“Friend of Dorothy” is a quiet, friendly way of saying that someone is gay. It started as a code phrase so LGBTQ+ people could spot each other without outing themselves.
In real life, you might hear it when two strangers are chatting at a party and one says, “I’m a Friend of Dorothy,” to signal that they’re part of the LGBTQ+ community. It’s light, playful, and usually shared with a smile or wink rather than any drama.
Meaning & Usage Examples
• A gay man at a cruise meet-up: “Looks like we’re all Friends of Dorothy here.”
• A lesbian traveler asks the hotel concierge, “Any spots where Friends of Dorothy hang out?”
• In a group text: “Brunch tomorrow—open to Friends of Dorothy and allies.”
Context / Common Use
Mostly used among English speakers over 30, the phrase nods to Judy Garland’s role as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, an icon in queer culture. It’s casual code, not an official label, and younger folks often just say “I’m gay” instead. Still, you’ll spot it in travel forums, older LGBTQ+ spaces, or when someone wants to keep things discreet yet clear.
Is “Friend of Dorothy” outdated?
It feels vintage today. Younger LGBTQ+ people may not recognize it, but it still pops up in friendly, nostalgic settings.
Can straight allies use it?
Allies can understand it, but it’s best left to LGBTQ+ people to say about themselves. Using it as an outsider can sound forced.
Does it apply to all genders?
Traditionally aimed at gay men, yet anyone in the LGBTQ+ community might borrow it for fun.
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